STOP PLEASE STOP

What is with people's Things That Make Me Happy Lists?
Kill me if I ever make a list and these things are on it:
-Bamboo utensil sets
-Fluffy cats
-Thick hearty soups
-Knitting baby clothes
-Realistically meat-like Vegan food
-Fiestaware
-Warm buttered popcorn
-Cat naps
-Making a warm fort inside to ignore the thunderstorm
-Being part of a thriving community
-Hand in hand walks on a brisk autumn day
-CRAFTING esp DIY
-A cracklin fire and christmas tunes
-Warming your gloved hands with an early morning caramel latte
Kill me! Kill me so many times kill me! Stop being assholes!! Isnt it easier to say:
Comfort
Shelter
Warmth
Beauty
Isn't it easier? Then you won't look like the Ann Arbor stick someone stuck up your ass broke off, travelled north, and is stabbing you in the brain.
Here's my (maybe sociopathic) list:
-Insect KILLING and pinning
-When people stop asking me repetitive questions FOR ONE FUCKING MINUTE
-People with schizophrenia
-Crisp as fuck pickles
-Imagining helmeted ann arbor sidewalk bikers biting the dust SO HARD
-Trailer park boys
-Watching intervention while drinking and doing the very drugs these people are being intervened for
-Not having a reason to shower for a week
-Stepping on a really crunchy leaf
-Bus people
-Being better than almost everyone
-Hating things
Am I a sociopath? Maybe. But I'm a happy one cuz I get all of the things on my gay ass HAPPY LIST every single day if I want. So take your Martha Stewart ass shit outta my face! If I decide to go to the co-op or BED BATH AND INTO THE FUTURE i've asked for it I GUESS. But otherwise, its unwarranted and everyone who knows anything (me) thinks you're a dead pigeon! Let's all set our sights a lil lower for once! Buy the next homeless person you see a carmel latte if you want to help your community thrive! See what they do! Burn your face with it, that's what! FUCK!