This Is My Life: January 2012

IT IS the zoological institute for zoology intsitutionally zoological museum, or something like that, in st. petersburg russia. please view these photos so that you may see the faces HORRIBLE TAXIDERMY! i believe that they gave some inmates a child's set of 3-color-only soviet tempera paints and constantly electrocuted them while making them paint faces onto these stretched pieces of bologna. MY CHILDREN i have seen dogs (yes pet dogs) with so many bald patches painted a shade that one might say loosely has some small amount of pigment hidden within its being that has a tiny speck of color CLOSE TO THE ORIGINAL COLOR OF ITS HAIR!! upon entering this FUCKED FEST one first sees a horse that looks like the velveteen rabbit on ketamine, a dog seemingly made of lumpy concrete and a chihuahua whose face clearly suggests that he had a large rod stuck into its butthole while still alive. these three prophets guard the door to this wonderland. look at the photos people! look at the sharks! there is one case with an elk bent down scratching its face with its hoof like a dog! have these people never been outside? ALL OF THE ANIMALS ARE IN DOG POSES! weasels, elk, manatees! i think the people who did this taxidermy did it inside a gulag. they only saw two dogs and a rabid squirrel in their life and decided taxidermy was their calling. I mentioned their indescribably inappropriate lack of paint colors: PINKKKKK pink child's pink, greenish swamp mass and GREY! all else is нелзя! if they need to paint a shark's mouth, a baboon's ass, a bird's beak, you can bet it will be ladies room wall pink with no hint of shading! the specimens (an extremely extensive collection, very impressive amount of bird, snake, insect species, not to mention pet dogs! for some reason) are crammed together and covered in dust. lemme get in there with a dustbuster! i would love to work there for free! i would suck so much dust off that horse mummy's singed negro skin! i would lick that steve martin pelican damm neer klean! and let me tell you this. i have evidence. look at my photos. does that green parrot not have 2 GOOGLY EYES BEDAZZLED ONTO ITS HEAD!? this i ask of you. please correct me if i'm wrong. half those tiny peeeep peeeeps have only only wing and a tiny burnt out socket where its eye used to be. the insects all look like they're cheerin on college sports teams next to a keg. the birds all look like elizabeth taylor c. '97. i will leave out the michael jackson reference this time, but you can imagine. aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! it is so magical and amazing! if only you could see!BEST! DARETH I SAYETH!