You wanna die? Really? Do you? Imagine your children coming to the cemetery and crying. Crying at your grapestone. You wanna be a california raisin? Do ya?

Cool new development

I'm in the bathroom and from what is probably a window to an air shaft in the middle of the building I hear a person yelling, screaming (but sounding far away, as if trapped somewhere) "I DONT WANNA DIE HERE! SOMEBODY HELP ME!....." I get up close, stick my ear to the window. Mumbles, incoherent screaming, " WHY CANT I GO TO THE TOILET!?" And shit like that. Nice! The window is painted shut. I put my ear up to it again, and don't hear anything. I sit with my ear pasted to the window, then, "WHY ISNT ANYONE HEARING ME? IM TRAPPED! IM GOING TO DIE HERE!" Sounds muffled and like the person is terrified also, or...dying.
I finally bust the window open, there is an air shaft there, and I'm at the bottom. I hear it louder "HELLLLLLPPPPP MEEEEEE BLOOOOOOODDDD MUMBLE MUMBLE AGHHHHHH!" I can't tell if it's coming from above or below, but it sounds so far away and muffled, like this person is in a mainly-sound-proofed room. Oh god, I watch too much x-files, I'm going crazy.
I'm on the first floor with an air shaft and downstairs there's a horrifying room off the trash room with like 8 locks on it in the basement, sounds like it's coming from there. I can still tell the person is hoarse from screaming, it sounds like they've been screaming for days. I go wake up my sister and her boyfriend who are in town. Mark says he heard it yesterday too, sounded like a woman screaming for help. WEIRD HE DIDNT SAY ANYTHING!?! I go back in. I'm too scared to reply. "Hellllooo?" I half whisper, half yell. When I finally get up courage I yell 'Shaft ghost??" into it, I get no answer. It stops completely.
I already called the maintenance guy and left a message asking if someone was being tortured in the basement. "I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, but they're yelling HELP ME I DONT WANNA DIE HERE!" When he finally calls back, "oh it's just the schizophrenic guy! On the fourth floor. He has outbursts"
Of course it is! No shaft ghost...?
God bless the Tenderloin

Bus nonfiction

Were you ever married?
Do you want to get married?
Sometimes when I smoke crystal meth it's in that hotel.
Are you Mexican?
What's that?
Oh El Salvador, ok.
Do you want to get married to me?
Where are we going?
It's warm on this bus at least.
Do you have an apartment?
Where is it?
Where are we going?
I'm going to need to get some crystal soon.

Jus some sexy bus fiction for ya!

The woman's backpack was swinging dangerously close to the fat kid's face. Everyone on the bus held their breath cuz fat kid wasn't budging. Even though he could scoot back, even though he could move his head easily out of the way of danger. Maybe he couldn't see it. He had some lazy ass eyes. The bag made one final jolted thrust on the turn onto Van Ness. The bag tapped his thick head, and pretty hard.
"Owwwwwwww" he growled. He sounded like Barney from Simpsons when he burps.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the white girl said utterly unapologetically.
"Look what you did! Not again!" He gestured with his fat claw towards his eyes. "This happens, it gets out of whack! NOOOO!"
The girl gasped! "No...," she breathed. "Wait you're lying!"
"Haha yeah, just kiddin, it's ok. They're always like this." Oh did this ever make his fat day!
She forced a laugh/sigh of relief. "I knew those were already loosies in there," she thought. Maybe, just maybe, if she whacked em harder they'd act right. We'll never know.