A big bone for me, and one for my mom. Chokable bones

This is how I feel right now

UPDATE

This is a screen shot of what happens when I googled BOOT CRUTCHES (see post below this {yes I know no one reads this site and I am doing all of this for myself and sometimes Stevie I hope, and that none of this is funny to anyone but me})

SOMEONE CALL THE ANCHORMAN, TIGER WOODS IS HOBBLING!

THIS IS MY LIFE FOR REAL!

I just accidentally clicked on this tab here on my bloggy called STATS which tells you weird things about your blog like how many people go to it in a day (1:myself) and what words you could put into google that would transfer you to my blog I guess? Here they are:

WHAT?!?! WHAT!?!? pretty sure NONE of these things are featured here (goths are of course) but I must say that I am honored to be the site one would be directed to if that person googles WIFE USING MALE FLAT BACK TORSO DOLL. Really. I am a 28 year old woman. I am a WOMAN. I am not a child, pervert, teen, PERSON WHO KNOWS WHAT BOOT CRTUCHES ARE EVEN! I am a grown adult. God help me. Please. this is a cry for help. Give me intervention or give me noose.

ALSO: why is goth written smaller than all the other things when this is pretty much a site purely about goths? CAST CRUTCHES SITE goths

jenkem maze

Fell asleep while shitting today at a Mexican restaurant (in the bathroom) no chips, no dips, no lie.

Justin Clifford Rhody AKA Big Dick Romeo's Found Porn Pics and etc.

PERFECT!

Here's a screen shot from my phone. Please note the number of pictures. Not the Juggalo, the goths, skulls, fly collection, or jar of maggots that did it; but a picture of my OBVIOUSLY DEMONIC face makes it so.

Ypsilanti heritage festival part 27662

ypsilAnti heritage fest aka Juggalo fest

Juggalo with rat with a 'brand' on his arm that says "schitzo", his nickname. My friend yelled "do a trick" He put that huge nail into his nose, then talked about how he had the 666 inside. Then he poured a whole thanga Faygo on his head. Yes I gave him a hug.

Ypsilanti Heritage Festival

goth teens hackysacking

a cool booth called "daddy's touch"

This llama CAN'T with this shit..

LICKY LICKY I LIKE AMERICA

Does that dude have an armstrong bracelet on? Don lie to me now. Wish I got a picture of the BIGGEST EYE ROLL EVER given by Jackie, Roseanne's sister,when I asked how much LICKY LICKY was. Jackie, who for some reason worked at this jerky shop. Maybe she was on security duty?

Mio, Michigan, I, Think...

More things l find in the parking lot where I work

two curlie-qs at the end there

LIFE IN A WHOREHOUSE

Photos by my best friend Stevie, yes she works in a whorehouse in New Orleans. Click the link for more:
s185.photobucket.com

why i love my friends

I can bring a filthy run-over weave wig thing into a bar and they will:

sniff or lick it

wear it

love it

AND "dance " it onto the dance floor scooting it closer and closer until its on top of the high heels of well dressed black girls

Best Contact Names

I surveyed all my friends to ask what their best phone contacts were named. Here's the cream on carrot top:
CARRIEET TOP
anna the hot lesbian
big dick romeo
pinky the whip
your baby can read
tony danza
craaaaaaaack
queen aisha
abmanda wants magic
i hope youre ok
clinton pickens
brisilda
vince money
chowzer
hollis holl holl hollerin atcha
quark brain
stare master
wiffuh coopa
sugar sammy
guitar tech stew simon
chong
doc u. ment
shooka
nasty
tuner
skinn finn
STRANGER DANGER
potato nap
sweet tooth
carl o'smokes
NOOOOOO
clown town
bradhole
NEW ORLEANS HATES YOU
juju snooza aka jizzy
coop stain
craig s. list
chris the piss
emmanuel thankyou
Luv Laser
Sasqueesha
Old Man Glitter
Two-can Suzanne
LINOLEUM PANCACKE

THIS BIR DON'T GIVE

CRUTCH FAIL

PART 3 of "I Hate Almost Everybody" BABY EDITION

BABIES ARE SICK!

 

Ok I have blablalblglaglglgererrred on about men and women and now for the pinnacle of sick, the absolute sickest of all anything ever: BABEHZ! OOOOOH NOTHIN I LOVE BETTER THAN A LIL BABY ROLLIN AROUND GIGGLIN! Doesn't it just make you wanna stretch out your vagina REALLY BAD? Doesn't the thought of a gigglin little blobber goofin off with the family cocker spaniel just make you want your boobs to grow big and stretched and leaking milk? It has that effect on me.

 Thankfully from being poor in Michigan I have gotten the greatest gift ever given. No silly, not a welfare check for my bouncing bubbling buoyant bobbleheaded baby! Even better: 10 year guaranteed no baby! In fact I would put almost anything into my uterus to take up room in there so the stork's bundle can't fit. SORRY! Full house!

 So I am by no means an expert but I have seen enough of these bewildering creatures to know the basics.

For instance, babies when fed a disgusting mush of ground up real human food spit it out again and again and gurgle and choke on it. Yes, I have seen it. Then the parent gathers it up off its chin and neck (I am holding back puke writing this) with a sick plastic spoon and PUTS IT BACK INTO ITS GROSS TOOTHLESS MOUTH! It throws the food everywhere and spits it on to the parents, yes that's gross, but putting it back into its mouth? Child abuse! I can guarantee you if I ever spit out food and someone put it back into my mouth I'd be rolling around screaming too! If they don't want to eat it, leave them alone!

Next after the baby eats you know what happens. You put a big squishy diap on them and they piss and shit in it and then roll around in it all day. I will have to say here that I have never seen baby shit but I have heard about it and it may rival the baby being fed in vile-ness. I know anyone who reads this will think/say I am a horrible person, but can anyone deny these things? All other animals as you may know are only 'babies' for a month or so, maybe a year, except humans who remain in this revolting state for years!

Let's get right down to why I despise babies the most: THEY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! They can't talk or spell or hold their head up or even be shaken without dying. That means no going to raves or juggalo gatherings. And what is the need for a pooping blob that can't even wear that light up pacifier with pride! Have you ever seen a baby on E? ok this is going nowhere!

COPS COPS IM WILD BOUT EM (cops)

MY PET

i feed my pet beer soaked watermelon

put my shit in nat geo why dontcha!?!

RIP POPPY FACE