Dr. Bachman

Dr. Bachman was my music teacher in elementary school. He used to make the white kids sit in the back of the class so we would "appreciate the struggles of blacks". He forbade us from saying "African Americans", saying that it was a PC way to make whites feel more superior. Well when we said "blacks" in our other classes it just made all our white teachers mad and got us in trouble. He also set up the drinking fountains for whites and blacks which meant Jimmy Shadburne no longer had his own drinking fountain (you know it was the small gross trickling one that everyone spit into) which meant the person who had to drink after him out of the White Fountain had cooties, which at my school for some reason meant you got hit repeatedly by everyone all day, which meant it was me everyday since I was like the second biggest loser after Jimmy Shadburne besides Diana, who I thought had permanent crusted snot running from her nose to her lip; which I realise now was a cleft lip, and Adam, who looked like Jeffrey Dahmer, who I fought with everyday about like numbers and spelling and rocks and shit; which I realise now is because he was fucking autistic. Anyway, pretty sure Adam and Diana drank out of the special ed fountain and I had to drink after Jimmy Shad thanks to Dr. Bachman. He was awesome and I'll never forget him. I hope all the white kids don't just see this as "reverse racism" now.
THE END


JUST KIDDING! theres more.
 He spent the first half of MUSIC CLASS every day listening to him talking about Rodney King.
One day we were playing telephone (barely did anything musical in there) and when the message got to me it was (I will never ever forget [9-11]) "Rodney King, a black man was beaten almost to death by white, racist cops" What? I'm like 9 and supposed to remember that? I guess everyone else did cause they were horrified of Dr. B? Unfortunately for me I thought the entire point of telephone was to change what you heard into something funny so I told the kid next to me something about rainbow ponies trotting on Rodney King. BIG MISTAKE. When the message got to Dr. B he was livid. He made every kid come out to the hall in order and tell him the message they heard so he could find out who changed it. It was obvious it was me! Even more unfortunately I dont remember how he punished me or what he said because I blocked it out probably due to trauma, but I do remember having to sit in the back corner next to Cortez for the rest of the year, who by this time had noticed my agitation due to his messing with Eye of the Tiger and started whispering "rising up, up on my cock, took my time, took my pants off"

ALSO Dr. B would let us get up and sing or dance something we made up. Me and my 2 other biggest dork in school friends did a twirling coreographed interpretive dance of I Will Show You the World or whatever that stupid Aladdin song was. Everyone was dying of laughter and Dr. B was PISSED!  He made every single person in the class write 3 apology letters, one for each disney dancer. GOD i wish i still had those!