PART 3 of "I Hate Almost Everybody" BABY EDITION

BABIES ARE SICK!

 

Ok I have blablalblglaglglgererrred on about men and women and now for the pinnacle of sick, the absolute sickest of all anything ever: BABEHZ! OOOOOH NOTHIN I LOVE BETTER THAN A LIL BABY ROLLIN AROUND GIGGLIN! Doesn't it just make you wanna stretch out your vagina REALLY BAD? Doesn't the thought of a gigglin little blobber goofin off with the family cocker spaniel just make you want your boobs to grow big and stretched and leaking milk? It has that effect on me.

 Thankfully from being poor in Michigan I have gotten the greatest gift ever given. No silly, not a welfare check for my bouncing bubbling buoyant bobbleheaded baby! Even better: 10 year guaranteed no baby! In fact I would put almost anything into my uterus to take up room in there so the stork's bundle can't fit. SORRY! Full house!

 So I am by no means an expert but I have seen enough of these bewildering creatures to know the basics.

For instance, babies when fed a disgusting mush of ground up real human food spit it out again and again and gurgle and choke on it. Yes, I have seen it. Then the parent gathers it up off its chin and neck (I am holding back puke writing this) with a sick plastic spoon and PUTS IT BACK INTO ITS GROSS TOOTHLESS MOUTH! It throws the food everywhere and spits it on to the parents, yes that's gross, but putting it back into its mouth? Child abuse! I can guarantee you if I ever spit out food and someone put it back into my mouth I'd be rolling around screaming too! If they don't want to eat it, leave them alone!

Next after the baby eats you know what happens. You put a big squishy diap on them and they piss and shit in it and then roll around in it all day. I will have to say here that I have never seen baby shit but I have heard about it and it may rival the baby being fed in vile-ness. I know anyone who reads this will think/say I am a horrible person, but can anyone deny these things? All other animals as you may know are only 'babies' for a month or so, maybe a year, except humans who remain in this revolting state for years!

Let's get right down to why I despise babies the most: THEY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! They can't talk or spell or hold their head up or even be shaken without dying. That means no going to raves or juggalo gatherings. And what is the need for a pooping blob that can't even wear that light up pacifier with pride! Have you ever seen a baby on E? ok this is going nowhere!