I'm old

How am I becoming an adult? Let me count the ways:

1. For the first time in quite a while, when sitting on the toilet, I didn't envision a huge sword flying out of the bowl and into my vagina

2. I cat sit at my friends and saw lots of beauty products. I thought "hmmm" I didn't use any but I DID brush my hair for the first time in a couple years (then I literally went in the yard and rubbed dirt in it because it looked too clean)

3. My mom just decided to make me pay my phone bill. I cried because I couldn't figure out how, but I'm gonna pay!!!

🍄🍄Dat bout covers it🍄🍄 I want some drugs. Ummmm does anyone want to take me out to dinner or somethin to congratulate me? I just learned how to use FUCKIN SILVERWARE