What do normal 30 year old daughters and moms text about? Not this?

My promise to you:

People who like spoilers and bombin' exhausts also like Monster energy drinks.

They are also at least 10% Russian

Speaking of Jerk Chickens-
The people who hit on me:

-Say "I have neyer see- long time... gir like you" (he was Russian)
-Are changing socks in the middle of the street and saying "she sexy cuz she like...short...and she know it" (I'm not short)
-Are picking up what they think are cig butts but are actually air cuz they are on crack. They say "girlll lemme get a dolla oh wait she sexxxxxyyyy never mind! Wait yeah gimme 50¢"
-99.9% of black gents call me "RED" I don't know if that's a coincidence or...? But one guy said "lemme get that shade'o'kool-aid" and I said "best line ever we can be BFF but you can't have my number only because I don't like to talk on the phone." And then he bought me some egg nog from Tenderloin Liquor.
-Are changing a bandage on their bloody face
-Are singing "Christmas fuck you jingle fuck fuck HEY BABY YOU SEXXXXXXYYYYY"
-Are dying very soon and falling out of a wheelchair RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE CAN I GET A WITNISS TO DISS? Please take your friend to work day is tomorrow! Can anyone vouch for this? I work in the tenderloin.

Ol prosthetic leg- call da AMBULAMPS!

Wonda what the pigeons are up to today!

Today I have seen:

1. A guy dropping his crack rock in a pile of bird seed and couldn't find it
2. A guy stickin his dick through the fence of a play ground
3. A guy shoving human shit into a rubber glove

Today at work I got paid $18/hour to:

1.Clean out the keyboard cracks with a paper clip
2. Give some people some donuts
3. Tell a guy to quit huffin paint thinner

God bless the tenderloin

👻HAPPY HALLOWEEN SAN FRANCISCO👻

Phil Hartman is drivin one of the Barts today, so if you wanna hear a damn ghost, ride it. He tried to åçčêñt the whole word ĒMBÃRÇÄDĒRØ so if ghosts aren't your thing, but you wanna hear a true españolio spaniard say the word, ride it. HAPPY HALLOWEEN👻

this just fell out of my hair.
Does anyone want to give me a job or an apartment?

My Strange Addiksh/Confessh/I am 30

This is Fifey. He is wearing a friendship bracelet because he is my best friend. He is 28 and ready 2 date btw if you're sing sing. He's hung.

Baethiclly, If you assept me you must assept Fife. All my boyfriends have slept next to Fife, it's no big whoop.

I had to leave Fifey at my mom's because my boyfriend got annoyed. NOT! I would dump any man that came between me and Fi. But I did leave him at my mom's and I miss him a lot. Put me on My Strange Addiction. I feed him by putting his tail in my belly button when I eat and I rub his belly and sniff his ear hole. No lie.

Why not me and Julio down by the schoolio? Hmmm?
Haha! Whoa! Hey! Thank you!!!! Hey! Hey, good to be here! Got a great show here tonight, Hoobastank is in the house!